Monthly Archives: May 2017

Early Mornings Are Not Great, I Guess

I woke up this morning with this overwhelming feeling that something wasn’t right. My heart raced, the sweat drenched my clothes and my chest tightened. The sun was just rising over the horizon, the rays of light poked through the houses and the clouds and it was safe to say the Apocalypse hadn’t happened yet. Damn.

However, I couldn’t shake that feeling. I got out of bed. The dog had been lying beside me or under me. I wasn’t sure because as soon as I opened my eyes her doggy senses heightened and she was right up beside me. Is it time? Is it time? It’s time, isn’t it? Did you look at me? I think you looked at me. I’m just going to pretend you looked at me. Are you up? Are you sure? Do you see me? Do you see me? I’m here! Love me!

So I was up. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and tried not to trip down the stairs.

The dog was super excited I was awake. Or she just really had to pee. She ran in circles around me so I gave her some words of encouragement and attempted to pat her on the head but she was much too excited. I just gave up and went through the kitchen to get to the back door.

…And there it was.

…That impending doom.

It all came back to me in a flood of emotions. Anger, disappointment, betrayal. How could I do this to myself? How could I leave this place in such a state? How did I forget to load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen?